CLOSE and Return to Doorposts

SHIFTING BLAME, MAKING EXCUSES
(See also Self-Righteousness, Lying)

This is an essential problem to deal with. We want our children to be honest in examining themselves against God's standard, and to learn to readily confess and forsake sin. Excusing our sin and blaming our actions on others is dishonest and self-deceptive, and can lock us into immaturity and stagnation. It can also add a great burden of guilt to a life.

General information and commandments about this sin:

Pr. 21:2 Ways are right in our own eyes.

Pr. 12:15 Way of a fool is right in his own eyes.

Pr. 16:2 Man's ways are clean in his own sight.

Pr. 30:12 Pure in own eyes, but still filthy.

  • All these verses point to our need to establish God's Word as the authority in our lives. Man is not able to establish his own standard of morality; every man will do what is right in his own eyes, which leads to anarchy.
    •

    Ezek. 18:4b Soul that sins, it will die.

    What happens, or should happen, to the person who makes excuses:

    Pr. 28:13 He who covers his sins will not prosper.

    • Do not allow the "blame-shifter" to prosper. Deny privileges, discipline him firmly, and more severely when he tries to make excuses.

    Matt. 7:1-5 Will be judged.

  • Add to his discipline. If he has earned a spanking, add one extra "swat," etc.
    •

    Pr. 19:3 Blames God.

  • A child will often blame the authority over him, instead of acknowledging his wrong. Sulking over discipline should not be allowed since it is evidence of an unrepentant and rebellious heart. Pray for the Holy Spirit's working in the child's heart, to bring him to a point of true humbling and recognition of his sin.
    •

    Job 9:20 Mouth will condemn.

  • Conduct a "trial." Question the child about what he did. Do not allow him to tell you what someone else did.
    •

    Ezek. 18:4 The one who sins will be punished.

  • Be consistent. Take the time and energy to thoroughly investigate a situation, asking God for wisdom in properly disciplining those who deserve it.
    •

    Blessings of acknowledging and confessing our sin:

    Js. 5:16 Confess sins, will be healed.

    I Jn. 1:9 Will be forgiven and cleansed.

  • Spend time with the child after confession and discipline to restore fellowship and to express your pleasure in his action.
    •

    Mic. 7:9 Will behold God's righteousness.

    Pr. 28:13 Confess and forsake sin, will receive mercy.

  • Lessen discipline when child readily, and sincerely, confesses. (i.e. if spanking, give one less swat.)
    •

    Stories that illustrate the consequences of blaming others:

    Adam and Eve, Gen. 3:12-13 Banished from the garden, spiritual death, cursings.

    Aaron, Ex. 32:1-24 Aaron took what the people gave him, at his request, and fashioned the golden calf. He built the altar.Then he blamed the people.

    Saul, I Sam. 15:1-23 Blamed people for his actions. Lost his leadership and kingdom.

    Pilate, Matt. 27:24 Tried to deny his responsibility.

  • Saul, Aaron, and Pilate were all attempting to blame those under their authority. They were not exercising their authority over their inferiors, and were denying their own will and choice in the matter. This is a good reminder to us as parents! We are responsible for our actions.
    •

    Sarah, Gen. 16:5 Blamed Abraham for situation with Hagar.

    Esau, Gen. 27:36 Blamed Jacob for his foolish action in giving up his birthright.

    Verses to memorize:

    Pr. 21:2 Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the hearts. (NKJV)

    Ezek. 18:4b ...the soul that sinneth, it shall die.

    Pr. 28:13 He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.

    CLOSE and Return to Doorposts